Jamie sometimes I get angry/SAD too, because helping Grammy was so good and I keep wondering what is it that Heavenly Father wants me to do now, and if I can even do it. All I know is that whenever I start to get sad I am overcome with this feeling that Grammy is right next to me not wanting me to feel that way. I know she wants us to be happy for her, but it's SO hard to let go. I can only imagine how hard this is for you James being there everyday, just waiting for her to walk out of her room with her big comforter dragging behind her.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Akward Adjustments
Yesterday after school I was driving to my parents to pick up something and I seriously thought "Oh I wonder if I need to go help with grammy at all...." Nope. This is SUCH a weird adjustment! I honestly don't know what to do with myself. Finding a job seems so worthless. Working some job doesn't feel even close to be as satisfying as being with grammy was.
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James--this is such a beautiful, awesome blog! You are amazingly talented and what a great tribute to "Grammy." I'm right with you at this awkward adjustment time. I get emails about refilling her prescriptions, etc. and I start to cry. I miss her so very much! Emily wonders what she is doing right now. At least we have the comfort of knowing that she is free of the alzheimers and is probably dancing, reuniting with loved ones, and keeping very busy. I know she is happy, because I can feel it! I sit out in the glider in our yard and rock and remember being a little girl and rocking on her lap. We have indeed had quite a journey and I am so, so, so grateful for this amazing famiy that we have. It will be the greatest tribute to her and make her so happy for us to stay close and I now we all will. Heavenly Father has truly blessed our family and watched over us.
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